Dear ~Hanessa (https://www.deviantart.com/hanessa),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting. I think I realized it when you smacked my ass in your apartment and I saw you carve your initials into the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand that you need a sex-change. I'm returning your toe ring (too!) but keeping your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about the moose poaching and you ruined my attempts at another world war.
Please, don't lick my inner thighs anymore, :iconUmbri:
Dear (person of choice),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think